So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
