just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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