Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
