Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
