Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
