the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
we're so committed to being not committed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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