I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
