Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
