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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's a collector of sorts

  (713): View more from Texas

  Any cool stuff?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.

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