Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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