I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize