I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
