My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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