I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
