yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize