Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
