I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
