Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
