He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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