it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
