they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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