Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
