the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
