If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
