the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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