She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
