i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
