i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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