dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
