Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
