just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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