one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
