I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
false alarm. still invincible.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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