I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
