apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.