she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend