Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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