Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
