I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
