are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
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I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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