can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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