I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she told me i tasted like america
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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