I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
