i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
