from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
