i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize