I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
