i think i have two assholes
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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