can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just had sex bonerless
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
