Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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