wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
