My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
