I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
