I am in a vortex of obligation.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
These tits shall not be calmed
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
