She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
