I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
