my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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