if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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