a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
