The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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