Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
