allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize