He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
