People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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