i wish my penis had a tongue
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
