4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
