Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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