I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
