Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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