Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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